Pf, I don't really like updating a journal like this. Why I have to tell about my life to strangers? Idk, in this moment I just need to say some little things.

This's a time for big changes. With good or bad results, changes at last...

1)There're some couple of girls trying to copy everything I do. Erhm like wtf? What do I have that you not? Why do you have to still trying to imitate all that I do, say, like, create?
I know what I have and you not: Originality and PERSONALITY.
Pf, do whatever you want if you are trying to be someone else... But please, don't faze with my life NEVER AGAIN.
Please, get a life right now.

2) Every day is worst and I'm more sick. I have to gain more than 1Okg (about 23lb) if I don't want to be interned in the hospital, but I can't.
Okay, I don't want to but I CAN'T too. Maybe something's wrong with my body and I'm glad of it.
I don't stand pro-ana/mia girls. Or n00bies in this sickness of hell 'cause they REALLY DON'T KNOW how much PAIN we had... And'll still have for the rest of our lives. Years suffering alone for no available reason at all. People's dying while I'm killing myself. Do you think that I don't care? Pf, I know I care about that people more than you.
So, you "stupid pro-ana/mia princess" go and throw away your problems. THEY'LL NOT DESAPEAR. They never do. Think twice before to start.
When the games begins you'll lost everything. Don't be stupid. This's not for fashion, not for being healthy, or the most beautiful bone girl in the whole world. It's for sickness & pain. And we don't want more of you in our world. Save yourself while you can.
My healthy stills bad. The panic attacks still ruining my life. Is the worst feeling that a person could feel. Is worse than feeling empty. It's an inside pain that I can't explain. You can't breathe, you can't feel anything but sorrow. Is a shock of ache in your heart like a bullet passing through it, like drowning in a sea of blood and agony. You choke and when it ends you faint. It's like dead every day and wake up in the morning to see that you still alive...

3) I made a big big big decision. Sad but is for my happiness and yours. I don't want to hurt you but I would. I hope you can forgive me and be friends someday. I love you, you know evertyhing. I'm gona be at here for you, always.


NEW BEGINNING? I hope.

From now, I WANT TO BE HAPPY.




Let me be.




Bye, I hate myself for wrote that.